Uncharged Crimes

I was informed by a confidential source who has been verified to be true and accurate by other confidential sources that the government is going to unleash another barrage of uncharged crimes. It seems that the FBI wanted to initiate a study of how badly my reputation was damaged in the community with the release of the first list of uncharged crimes. So, they decided to have a gallop pole conducted. There was only one problem: the budget for the organized crime squad of the FBI is completely depleted. After shoveling out millions to accommodate the extravagant lifestyles of their criminal informants, the publicity stunt that they called the biggest mob roundup ever in which they used over a thousand FBI Agents plus court and investigative costs, they are broke. Flat broke.

But don't worry. The ever resourceful agent Scott Curtis quickly solved the problem. He went to his pet rat Dino "Hemorrhoids" Calabro and borrowed the money from him. "Hemorrhoids" loves America so much that he only charged Agent Curtis three points vig. When the results of the study finally came in, they showed that although my overall approval rating was down, there are still many people in the community who think that I am a real nice guy. They were mad at these results. Very mad! It was at that point that "Hemorrhoids" Calabro remembered that I once told him that it was my shadow on the grassy knoll in Dallas Texas way back on that dreadful day in November of 1963. He also told them that it was me who cut off Princess Diana's car in the tunnel causing her death. The last deed that "Hemorrhoids" laid in my lap is the wounding of President Ronald Reagan. He said I admitted to this one night while I was drunk. They sent this list of uncharged crimes in advance to John "The Dolt" Marzulli at the Daily Rag and "Sleazy" Curtis Sliwa at 970AM. Both of these stooges of the FBI have meager followings that are immensely improved with the mention of Tommy Gioeli. So, to give them a boost and me a knock, they gave them an exclusive on this story.

These uncharged crimes are so preposterous that you must laugh at my use of them in my blog. But unlike this new parody the other real uncharged crimes have been used to insight a jury against me. The last melody of hate was splashed across the front pages of the news and it is continually spouted over the airwaves. It will be presented to a jury as fact even though it is unproven slander with no times, dates, police reports, or any other evidence to support it or my involvement in any way. They are lies! How can this be constitutional? It's not! It's just that the American people are not aware of the dirty tactics that the prosecutors are using to convict their targets. Innocence is not a consideration of the prosecutors. Their only consideration is to win. As more groups and middle class citizens are attacked with these unfair laws and practices, the American people will speak out and demand equal justice for all, not just for the big banks, oil companies, and the rich. Main Street is as important as Wall Street and my rights are just as sacred as Barack Obama's.

Stronger Today Than Yesterday,
TG

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